So I’ve been reading The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Brenden. Daddy recommended two of his books in place of Dr. Phil. Nathaniel Brenden was Ayn Rand’s lover so a lot of his views fall within objectivist standards but he still holds enough woo woo that I think I can learn a lot of things from his philosophy and thoughts.
Some of the things I’ve gained from it already is that…yes indeed…I am low in self esteem. He breaks it up into self-efficiency (belief in your thoughts and mind) and self-respect (belief that you have a right to be happy and are worth it). Sometimes I’m kinda higher in self-efficiency. I’m rarely high in self-respect unless I spend time kicking some boys’ ass. But there are so few around worth kicking. LOL
Another important factor is relying on yourself for your self-esteem…not outside factors or people. There is a reason why people say “you have to love yourself first”.
It’s a work in progress. It’s hard to read the book while trying to enforce my own self esteem when I have none to enforce. It is the pitfall of such a task because you don’t believe you are worth it in the first place. None of this is meant to be victimish, just self-realizing.
I wore my boots out tonight for the first time in a few months. I went to a TES meeting on boot worship. I remembered why I like someone at my feet. Why I like someone dedicating their effort to my boots, and why it turns me on. It makes me wish I had a particular boy to do mine. But honestly, right now I don’t feel I would be worthy of having them done. See where this enforcement thing becomes a problem?
According to Brenden the best way to get and maintain self esteem is to do things to improve and encourage it. Also where the saying “believe your own hype” comes from. If you believe, you start to act it. If you act it, you start to be it. If you be it, you start to reap the benefits of it from yourself and others. And on continues to positive cycle. But getting that particular ball of energy rolling is not so easy.
It’s my hope to add my thoughts on how to achieve it as I figure it out myself. So feel free to look back here on my progress.
I believe I’m going to start doing my “Daily Five” to increase my focus on positive aspects. It’s always helped in the past…perhaps it will help again.
- Have stuck to my “diet” plan for a full week
- Have lost 3lbs
- Completed a large part of work on CrystalProgramming.com
- Made myself go out and be social
- Made myself get up and do work
- Helped someone important to me
- Wrote on my blog
- Got my shit emotionally and mentally a little bit more together
- Laughed today